Who's Gonna Marry Who
by Onirei Kirara
Summary: Written by my younger sister. One day Naruto and Haku are talking, and Haku says he wants to marry Sasuke! Kakashi also wants to marry Iruka, but Iruka wants to marry the bush that Sasuke puked in. Oh the horror..


**Well, do to inspiration from Bunny Crash, I let my little sister think of some wacky ideas for a fic. Note that the dialogue is all hers, I just typed it up. Kids sure are weird…Anyways, she's 9 and a half now, as she wanted me to tell you.**

**We don't own Naruto.**

**She says she hopes you like it.

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One day Naruto and Haku were talking. Even though this was impossible, because Haku was dead.

"Hey," Naruto said to Haku, "Who do you think's going to marry you?"

"Uh..that's really weird, Naruto.." Haku said. "Well, I guess Sasuke.."

"NO WAY! You're gonna marry Sasuke? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, you'd think I was gay…"

"OF COURSE I THINK YOU'RE GAY!"

"Oh? Are you going to kill me?"

"Yes, I think I would stab you with a stick in your ear."

"…That must be painful…"

--

"Sakura, will you marry me, my beloved?" Sasuke asked.

(GASP) "Sasuke, will you ACTUALLY marry me?"

"No." Sasuke walked off.

Sakura proceeded to melt.

Whilst Sasuke was walking, he bonked into Haku and Naruto hugging each other. He then walked away, and threw up in a bush.

"HEY!" Naruto cried indignantly. "It's not like we're getting married or anything! We aren't, are we?"

"Of course we are."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But I thought you and Sasuke were getting married!"

"Well, I decided to switch that. Besides, I'm dead, anyways."

--

"Ehem," Kakashi coughed, "Iruka, are you going to marry me?"

"I'm sorry," Iruka squeaked in a very GAY voice, "But I'm getting married to that bush over there."

"You mean the one that Sasuke just puked in?"

"NOOO! He puked in it? My beloved bush, are you okay?"

"No, I am not," the bush replied, and walked away.

"NOOO! I lost my first love!" Iruka cried.

Kakashi walked away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hey, I know! I'll marry that building over there!"

The building walked away.

Iruka's eyes bulged. "H-how's that possible? First the bush, now the building! And Kakashi too, but I didn't want to marry him. Wait—I do! NOOOO! That was my chance! KAKASHI!"

Kakashi appeared out of nowhere, complete with a flowery background and large eyes. "Yes"

"I want to marry you!"

"Really?" (kissy)

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Iruka gagged.

"Is something wrong?"

"You didn't brush your teeth."

"Oh, right. It's because of this stupid mask. I'm going to brush them right now."

(A few seconds later)

"Alright, I'm back—Iruka? Where'd you go?"

Kakshi sees Iruka running frantically away, running over the still-hugging Naruto and Haku in the process. Then he stopped.

"What are you guys doing?" Iruka inquired.

"Don't even say it! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Naruto screamed.

"Yes it is," Haku insisted. "We're going to bathe together."

Iruka sweatdropped. "Uh—well, tell me if the baby's a girl or a boy. Gotta go!" Then he zoomed off.

"SASUKE!" Iruka screamed as he ran.

"Yes?" Sasuke answered, appearing out of nowhere. Then suddenly, a tree fell on both of them.

--

Sakura was currently located in a secret lab, where she had been sucked into. (Someone thought she was an illegal drug.)

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU IDIOTS!" Sakura shrieked. "I'M NOT A DRUG!"

The scientists looked around.

"Hmm, who was that?"

"Maybe it was just your imagination, Bob."

"Hmm..alright."

Someone walked over to Sakura, who looked like she was about to blow up. They then sucked her up into a glass syringe.

"Hmm..looks like it's alive.."

"YES I'M ALIVE YOU IDIOTS! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Alright then. We need her body."

Everyone in the lab was silent.

--

"Alright girly-man!" Naruto announced. "What do you mean, we're getting married?"

"Hm.." Haku replied.

"Don't you 'hmmm' me! That's what my wife did! That's girly!"

"You idiot Naruto! 'Hm' means I was thinking. I didn't go 'hmmm' like a girl would."

Naruto wet his pants.

"A little too much water, eh Naruto?" Haku said, smirking.

"Hey, I ONLY had 500 chicken sandwiches."

"How many times did you throw up?"

"500."

"Ok, you're just weird…."

Haku walked off, meanwhile wearing his pink kimono.

"_Hmph, he thinks he's so tough," _Naruto thought. _"Well, I'll show him. Believe it!"_

--To be continued

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**REVIEW! For my little sister, please?**


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